Bipolar Disorder and God's Strength in Weakness

Mar 30

Today is World Bipolar Day. Ironically, it also marks three years to the day since a manic episode led to my own diagnosis.

I actually prefer the old name - Manic depressive disorder. It captures the reality of the condition better in my opinion. The word “bipolar” gets thrown around too often, used flippantly as an adjective, when in reality, it is a noun describing a complex mental health condition marked by patterns of hypo/mania (high energy, impulsivity, euphoria) and depression (low energy and hopelessness).

I’ve tried for a while to put into words how my brain has perceived the World.

The extreme highs and difficult lows. The energy that feels like I could change the world, and the despair that makes getting out of bed an act of discipline.

There were times when I felt unstoppable—when ideas flowed faster than I could write them down, when I spoke with a conviction that could shake mountains, when sleep seemed unnecessary, and when my mind was a flood of inspiration. And then, almost without warning, it would all collapse. The light would vanish. The energy would drain. The world would turn gray.

At first, I didn’t think much of it. I thought I was just “passionate.” I thought my lows were just something I could push through, pray through, work through. When people would say, “Matt, that’s crazy!” I thought they were being complimentary - not cautionary.

I don’t think I realized how differently my brain worked.

Looking back, I can recognize a pattern—a cycle. But I never saw it when I was standing in the middle of it. That’s part of bipolar disorder too by the way: not being able to see it for yourself. Not believing it after the diagnosis.

Paul, in 2 Corinthians 12:9, spoke of a thorn in his side—a weakness he pleaded with God to remove. But instead of relief, he received these words:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." — 2 Corinthians 12:9

I’ve come to realize that following Jesus, and serving in ministry doesn't always look like the absence of struggle.

But Jesus never promised us escape from struggle. He promises us grace.
Jesus didn’t say, “You will never struggle.” He said, “I will never leave you.”
Jesus didn’t say, “You will never feel broken.” He said, “I will be strong in your weakness.”

I am learning that grace is enough—that even in my weakness, God’s strength is amplified. So today, on World Bipolar Day, I share my story. Not to share my weakness, but to declare the source of my strength.

For more on the topic of faith and mental health, check out the links below.